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16 Tips to Help You Get Through the Holidays While Grieving
Grief and the emotions associated with the loss of a loved one can be a harrowing experience, and during the holidays it can feel like an overwhelming ordeal. Celebrating at a time when we are experiencing deep sadness seems callous and pointless. The noise and activity that is part of the season can seem shallow and discordant.
Life as we know it has changed and that requires us to make adjustments. We may need to reevaluate our approach to the holidays and decide how much we want to participate in them, as well as modify old traditions or create new ones. Being prepared and knowing what to expect can reduce stress and get you through the holidays. Below are some suggestions.
Acknowledge your feelings
Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Don’t assume you have to feel or act a certain way. Tears can be a healthy release.
Prayer and praise
“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is there anyone cheerful? Sing psalms.” (James 5:13)
God is faithful. He knows your pain and supports you. Write down and post Bible verses in prominent areas that speak of God’s love and mercy, such as Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:18, and Psalm 145:14. Praise lifts our hearts and glorifies God. Read Psalm 34:1 and 1 Timothy 1:17.
Take care of yourself
Adequate rest and a healthy diet are important. Know your limits and don’t push yourself to do more than you can handle. Say no to activities that are more than you can handle. Take time to be alone, spend time in prayer and meditation, take a walk, read a book or listen to soft music.
If you’re looking to buy a gift, consider shopping online. This allows you to shop at your own pace and at a time that suits you, without the noise and demands of busy malls. Gift cards simplify the process even more, and most people enjoy receiving them.
Limit your holiday decorations or skip them altogether. If you want to put up some decorations, ask a friend or family member who understands your situation.
If you are used to entertaining, you may want to limit the number of guests and include only close family and/or friends, or consider skipping entertaining altogether and accepting invitations instead.
Invite family and friends to share memories of their loved one out loud, or consider hanging a stocking or making a special box available for guests to leave their comments.
Ask for help
Getting help and support from others who understand your situation makes a big difference. Tell others what you need most, whether it’s someone to listen or someone to help with the housework.
Ask for support
Join a grief support group. It helps you realize that you are not alone in your grief. Listening to other people’s experiences and learning what has helped them can give you encouragement and comfort.
Helping others can help take your mind off yourself and your pain. Places like nursing homes, homeless shelters, and hospitals welcome volunteers. Helping a friend or family member in trouble can be just as helpful.
Comparing your family to other families is futile and can lead to frustration. Every family is made up of unique individuals. Find what works best for your family and celebrate with that in mind instead of imitating others.
Remember, others are grieving too
Others are grieving the loss of a family member or friend with you. They need your support as much as you need theirs. It is important for them and for you to ask how you can help and make yourself available.
Be happy with what you have
Although it may seem like it sometimes, your loss does not mean your entire life. Think about the blessings you still have (eg, faith, friends, family, work, home, health, etc.) and appreciate them.
Know that you will survive
As painful as the loss is, you will survive. You will survive the holidays, and if you do, you will be stronger and able to help others.
Keep in mind…
You don’t have to enjoy or participate in the festivities. And of course you don’t have to pretend to enjoy them. On the other hand, you are equally allowed to participate and enjoy yourself. Let joy happen naturally. The most wonderful gift you can give anyone you love, even someone who is no longer with you, is to live your entire life in God’s abundance.
Keeping a daily journal is a way to get in touch with your feelings and keep in touch with them. Write as much or as little as you want. Even a sentence or two will help you focus and show your perspective.
Whether you choose to celebrate the holidays in a new way or forego celebrating altogether, remember that life is full of new opportunities. Even changes that we didn’t invite or want to happen can be opportunities to grow and explore new paths that we might not have otherwise considered.
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