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Astrology and Sexual Intimacy

As with most things, there is a need for balance in our lives, as well as a desire for balance. Regardless of whether a toddler is learning to talk or learn to walk, the first two of the four stages of cognitive development are developing: (1): Sensorimotor stage (infancy); and (2): the pre-operation stage (infancy to early childhood), Mercury is at work and on the way to determine your needs. There are also stages of creative balance, such as drama, mime, sculpture and music, and our sexual balance, such as intimacy and individual needs (Sun, Venus, Mars and Neptune). We all desire this balance in our personal and intimate lives, and astrology can help us find and maintain it.

At first glance, many of us want to immediately look at the current love life, or the life before the current love relationship, to understand where we are. No no no! You have to follow the journey of becoming an adult back to infancy, then to ‘toddler’, and then back to the present day. Why do you ask? Well, these stages are the first examples given to us by our parents. It would be a very good idea to refer to the parent axis in the chart or your client’s (fourth/tenth house) axis to see which dynamics are working (or not working). So much of what we experienced as children began to take shape before we even arrived in the physical body, and then what our parents represented to us after we were born. Many psychologists like to call this “early childhood conditioning.”

Here, at the beginning, we are already prepared for preconceived behaviors dictated by our parents and society. Many boys’ fathers want their sons to be ball players and aggressive gogetters; for many girls, the mother wished for her sweet, graceful and elegant daughter. Within these parameters of preconceptions, children began to model their parents and other powerful family members. Here you will find the little echoes (children, fifth house) bouncing off the Doppler radar (parents, fourth and tenth houses). Today, families are not set up like our parents’ generation used to be. It happened that at least one grandparent lived in the family home environment and the father came home after work; this rarely happens these days.

Attraction is an important, if not vital, emotion that we all desire and seek in one form or another; but not all of us share this particular emotional dynamic in a positive or healthy way. The mother is where little girls learn how to express themselves emotionally, and Venus is the key to understanding how to express yourself. Mars and the father are why little boys try to shape themselves so that one day when they become men, they can befriend the girl who reminds them most of their mother! Go ahead and say “Ewww”! Statistically, we all know that little boys are attracted to the mother figure and little girls to the father figure.

The Moon is where our emotional drama first begins and we begin to sense how we will get our needs met. A Leo Moon craves more love, recognition, and drama than, say, an Aquarius Moon, where individualism and freedom are at a premium. You could even say that a mother with an Aquarius Moon wanted to be out in the world and alone, rather than stuck at home with a crying baby (see Barbara Stanwyck’s Clash by Night, 1952). Leo Moon mom deals with high drama and high level need recognition. These two examples are no guarantee of these behaviors, but I’ve seen it happen more times than not!

The sign of Venus is embedded in the complexities of combining and expressing elements of personality and emotional needs, as well as romance and attraction. The planet Mars and the Sun will also be needed to bring in the element of sexual intimacy. Mars is our applied energy and sexual desire, and the Sun is our ego and our biggest supporter! Here we learn how one’s Moon and Venus combine with our Martian instinct, the fight or flight response, and the Sun, protecting and recognizing our ego. Aquarius Mars has a lot of desire for a partner, while Capricorn Venus freezes up quite quickly when dazzled by a potential partner or lover.

There are too many combinations to cover here, but you get the point. Also, I need to talk a little bit about which house is the house of “Sex”. Traditionally, many astrologers considered the eighth house to be a sexual escape, but more recently, it is the fifth house that floods the palate with romance and debauchery. The fifth house is ruled by the Sun, and the Sun represents one’s consciousness of life energy, the eternal ego, and one’s response to creative expression. Throw in Mars (the mini ego) and Pluto (ruler of the underworld and all its minutiae) and you have the potential for a complete sexual revolution. There is a huge difference between Mars ruling the eighth house and Pluto ruling the eighth house. Either way, the fifth house (ruled by the Sun) is in a square to the eighth house (ruled by Pluto and ruled by Mars), suggesting a huge tension between the two houses.

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