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How to Deal With Women’s Sexual Problems

I am the unofficial driver for my daughter, an OB-Gyne. This privilege brings to the forefront some women’s issues that men don’t and that can affect their sexuality.

Of course, men also have their own sexual problems. But men, being men, always find a way to connect the dots when given the opportunity. For example, a coffee buddy of mine, 69 years old, with a wife and a lover by his side, still takes young girls out almost every afternoon. I don’t know if he rides them or if they take him riding for his money.

Not so with women. It’s hard to find a sexually active woman at 69. No, they don’t lose their sex drive with age. But at 50 years old, most of them will be like vintage cars – great to look at, but rarely driven.

Women’s sexual sunshine sets much earlier than men’s. And while she shines brightly, they struggle with sexual problems, compounded by their reluctance to share their problems with others; their inhibitions in opening up or seeking professional/medical help.

A woman’s sexuality can be as bright as the early morning sun or as gloomy as the sky in an impending storm unless she confronts her sexual problems and uses some of the following approaches that have been proven effective by many:

o Exercise, diet or surgery:
Age, pregnancy and childbirth, lack of exercise and poor diet can destroy a woman’s physical attributes and make her less sexually attractive.

Looking good and looking desirable increases a woman’s self-confidence and self-esteem more than any drug.

One day I met a woman who looked very familiar. He seemed to remember better and immediately asked, “Joe?” I struggled with mine, but finally said, “May, is that you? Gee, what have you done to yourself?”

We worked together when we were younger, when she was one of the “hit” girls in the office. Now his massive stats almost knocked him out.

May is not special. We see them every day. And I’m always sorry to see such drastic and unhealthy changes in what counts at first glance – physical appearance. Women owe it to themselves to look good, regardless of age.

And this is not a difficult task. They probably write more books than any other on diet, exercise, skin care, etc. If things go beyond books and health tips, reconstructive surgery, stem cell therapy and many others will do the trick.

I didn’t count the number of women who had vaginal reconstruction after my daughter gave birth.

o Make lemonade:
What do they say when life throws you a lemon? Make lemonade!

Aging, childbirth, pressure at work, stress at home, broken relationships and more can affect women’s sexuality. If they have a negative attitude towards it, it develops sexual addiction, inhibition, outright avoidance or aversion to sex.

Taken plain, it becomes like a jewel, made more and more valuable by constant rubbing and polishing.

I always find more sexual pleasure with a fully blossomed woman than with a budding girl.

The only thing that limits a woman from living a sexually fulfilling life is what resides in her mind.

o Have a sexual toolbox:
I met a woman who is 44 years old, tall and still looks very good despite having three children and a husband who does not give her much besides household expenses. In any case, she admitted that she had never had an orgasm with her husband during her 20-year marriage. “So how do you satisfy yourself?” I asked. “Well, I’ll do what I have to do,” he said bluntly.

Again, you are not alone. Statistics show that 61% of women never reach orgasm with a man. The problem is worse with those who have to come more than once. A woman I know has a vibrator on hand for dessert.

Vibrators, videos, magazines, books, music and anything that can stimulate your sexual mood are worth exploring. They became socially, albeit discreetly, acceptable. Drop your inhibitions when your happiness and relationship are on the verge. Plus, you don’t know what’s going on in the other women’s bedrooms.

o Experiment:
Performing sex is like preparing a meal. No matter how good the first time is, subsequent servings always leave something to be desired; the desire for more or the twist on the recipe.

Different people have different beats for sex, as with all human relationships. So explore.

I know a woman who likes a gentle back rub; another turns on when her fingers are sucked, while another goes wild even when her tummy is stroked.

What excites you? Try it my dear. You will never discover her sexual modesty if you don’t.

If that’s not so repulsive to you, go gay. I once asked a bisexual friend of mine what he gets out of having sex with another woman. She said her most explosive orgasm was not from men, but from another woman (I felt like I had been slapped in the face).

Do you like dirty talk whispered in your ear or nibbling on your lobe? Discover what turns you on, and your life will be a million colors of sexual pleasure. Tie up your hang-ups and your soul will be consumed by self-pity and regret.

Most women like to be on top for two reasons. First, it gives you a sense of control, and second, your g-spots for maximum stimulation.

Men, by nature, want sex all the time. Women, on the other hand, are more humble. But they don’t shy away from it when the circumstances are right; the chemistry is perfect. Unfortunately, many women struggle to find both.

Don’t be one of them.

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