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My Ex Hasn’t Called Me – How Can I Get Them to Make Contact?
“My ex didn’t call me! What should I do?”
Frequently asked question. Reconnecting with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is an essential part of reversing a breakup and is an important step on the road to reconciliation. However, this is one of the most complicated steps in the entire process. If you make too many connections or do it too quickly, you may find yourself unintentionally pushing your ex in the opposite direction. But wait too long and your ex might start dating someone else. It’s a tough balance of patience and action, and even the most experienced people need help with it.
The best way to reopen the lines of communication is to get your ex to contact you. The methods used to implement methods like this are actually quite simple once you know what they are. But before you take that step, you need to do something else first, and this is one of them opening moves when it comes to getting your boyfriend or girlfriend back after a breakup: back off for a while and cut off all communication.
That’s right – the best results you can get from contacting your ex will happen if you disconnect for a while. Leaving your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend alone gives them time to think about you and miss you. When someone dumps you, the first thing they want is some space—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The problem is that most people who get dumped usually refuse to give them space…they think they can still talk their ex into breaking up with them and that ruins their chances.
If you’re a little (or a lot) guilty of this, you may have already done things like call your ex excessively, drive past your home or work, send her long letters, or even leave her flowers. He sent emails…texts…did whatever he thought was necessary let your ex know you love them. But in reality, most of what you did was for your own benefit: you did it because it happened you feel better. In fact, you didn’t consider your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend’s feelings or needs at all because the desperate need for contact was too suppressed.
At this point you’re sitting there wondering “why didn’t my ex call me?” when the answer is very simple: it’s because your ex doesn’t miss you yet. If you’re single for a while and have a few weeks to process the breakup, they usually figure it out. very quickly that they need you much more than they thought. Not hearing from you sends your ex into panic mode and they begin to fear the worst. Did you go on without them? Are you over the breakup? Did you find someone else? All of these fears will become reality in your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend’s mind, and they will have an overwhelming need to know exactly what you are doing. And since you haven’t spoken to them in any capacity at all? That’s when your ex calls.
“Are there other ways to communicate with them? How can I get my ex to contact me?”
Relationship etiquette with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend requires that you leave your ex alone for a period of time after the relationship ends. But once enough time has passed? There are several good techniques you can use to get your ex to get back in touch. Below are some of the simplest and most common ideas:
* The “I found your stuff” call – Find something that belongs to your ex that he left at home and call him and offer to return it (or ask him to pick it up). To get your ex to call you back, call when you know he won’t be home and leave a message. If you’ve been out of touch for a while, they’ll be curious to talk to you again, guaranteeing a call back. Make sure the thing you’re calling about is significant and not something small like a hairbrush or a music CD.
* The “How’s Mommy?” Call – If you’ve been dating your ex for a while and you’ve become close to his family, it’s always a good idea to ask how they’re doing. Especially if your ex has relatives in the hospital, undergoing surgery, a brother or sister about to go to college for the first time… you can use these excuses to call and ask, “Hey, how’s your dad doing?” or whatever the case may be. Since you haven’t called in weeks, your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend won’t immediately suspect that you have ulterior motives, and will even think it’s nice that you called to check on your relative.
* The “Congratulations!” Call – Another good way to connect with your ex is to call them to congratulate them on something. Maybe it’s your ex’s birthday, promotion, graduation, or some other award or recognition during your breakup. It’s a great excuse to call and wish them well. Again, if you do this when you’re not home, your ex will always call you back, which is the best case scenario.
There are many other great ideas for getting your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back in touch with you, but it’s even more important to know what to do when they call you. When this call comes in, you need the step by step plan the action. Instead of sitting around wondering why my ex didn’t call you, you should be prepared for the moment when they finally do it call. Knowing exactly what you’re going to say and exactly how to handle the conversation are two key parts of getting back on the road to a breakup.
If you want to get your ex back, you need to contact them. Communication plays a critical role in any reconciliation. Know your next step and don’t be afraid to take it. You just need to be proactive in order to achieve your ultimate goal: to put your ex back in your arms.
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