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Should Girls Be Playing Youth Football? NO
Should girls play youth soccer?
This may be a bit of a controversial topic for some, but in the society we live in, the answer is a resounding no!
Do some girls have the size and aggressiveness to play youth soccer? Of course, I can see my players having sisters who would make great soccer players, but I’m not sure that would be best for the girl or the boys on our youth soccer team.
Today’s society seems to want to devalue women, rap music with its demeaning portrayal of women as disposable and abuseable, TV and movies that portray women as abuseable sex objects, and the same with print media and the mainstreaming of pornography.
In downtown Omaha, nearly 70% of our players don’t have someone at home. If you think I’m exaggerating, we played with 2 people in the stands and both were women, not enough for a chain crew. This wasn’t a one time deal, we had many matches where we didn’t have 3 males controlling the chains. Many of our players do not have a model of behavior in the house to “copy” how to treat a woman correctly. Children often see first-hand women being physically and mentally abused, and of course they hear it in the music they listen to, on TV and in the print media. I’ve been coaching youth soccer for 15 years, and every year the “fatherless” house problem gets worse. Tom Osborne in his book “Faith in the Game” argues that this problem is on the rise and is responsible for most crime and problems among young men.
By allowing girls to play tackle football with boys, we teach boys that rough physical contact with women is acceptable behavior. In fact, as coaches we should encourage and reward this physical contact. Our players are and are used to being physical with females, the act would desensitize anyone who participates in the activity of physical force exerted by men on women. In the process, the female learns that hard physical contact with the male is acceptable, it has now become a habit. Well, while women on the team may help the short-term development of some of our football teams, I’m not sure we help either the boy or the girl in the long-term development as productive members of our society.
Girls are just as good or even better than boys at many activities, it’s not about girls being able to play. It’s about breaking the cycle of abuse that many single-parent or even two-parent families live in today. In my opinion, youth football coaching is much more than teaching kids how to play good football, how to block and tackle. It is about teaching the young footballer valuable life lessons that he can carry with him throughout his life. My father taught me how to treat women with reverence and respect, and for that behavior I was rewarded with a wonderful wife and a very fulfilling family life. Dad didn’t just tell stories, he showed them, even if he had disagreements, they weren’t vocal or physical. He modeled the right behavior every day, many of our kids NEVER see that right behavior modeled for them. As boys, we were threatened that hitting or even pushing a girl was a “deadly sin” material that should never happen. If it did happen, my father would treat me in the most extreme way, and he was also considered a coward.
In 2001, an 8-year-old soccer player from one of our teams in Omaha punched a girl in the face because of some disagreement on the playground of our field. Of course, we talked to the boy and let him know that he should never hit a woman, and we kicked him out of our program with the promise that he could come back next year if we saw a significant improvement in his attitude and actions. We felt he needed the program and contact with strong male role models. The player had to attend every practice and match and watch, not play. We convinced the parents of the hit girl not to press charges. Believe it or not, the striking players’ “grandfather” argued over the children, saying she “pushed him first.” It made me sick, the poor kid has no father in the house and a “grandpa” who thinks it’s ok to punch girls in the face who push first. No wonder her daughter didn’t have a man in the house. I wanted to punch the grandfather in the face, but I thought that would not be the right message for the boy either. We have indeed worked with this child, but I feel that there is a very high probability that this player will become a womanizer/abuser when he is older and have a very unsatisfactory family life. While the grandson came back, the grandfather was not invited to coach again.
I will never allow women to play in my youth football program. I don’t want it to be one of the life lessons and memories of our football players when our stud linebacker knocked the stuffing out of a girl running back with snot bubbles and tears running down her face.
However, some people bite the hand that feeds them. In our rural program, no women applied for football. In Omaha, some mothers tried to sign their daughters up for soccer. After the initial disappointment was over and the moms were told why we think it makes long-term sense for females not to play, the moms were very supportive. I can think of only one instance where a mom didn’t “get it” and pulled her son out of the program because we wouldn’t let her daughter be bullied by the boys on our team. I still see her today, a single mother with 3 kids who needed the program and refused to listen to reason. This mother was missing two front teeth, probably caused by the same cycle we were trying to help.
Today there is tackle football and even wrestling between boys and girls, what will boxing be next? or how about the final fight? Where do we draw the line? If the gilrs is as good at football as the boy why not boxing? Why doesn’t he wrestle? Why not Ultimatre Fighting?
Some people don’t care about the long-term consequences for either party, they just have a selfish desire to see their children excel at any cost. I shudder at what awaits the poor girl.
Let’s draw the line at tackle football.
For more free youth soccer games or free youth soccer coaching tips, visit Dave’s website:
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